Beauty is in The Eyes of The Beholder, NOT!

Beauty is the eyes of the beholder.“, so they say.

A friend of mine recently buzzed much about how she’s not fit to meet the beautiful standard, such as having a slim body hence she’s undergoing a strict diet.

Every time she shares her picture and lets us know how ugly she (think) is because she’s fat, not having the perfect skin, can’t afford the latest hair style, blablabla lalala, and all I can see is how pretty her smile is.

Sure, she concerns about healthy body weight, don’t we all?
Who has not complaining about their skin and hair, nowadays?

But since beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, its almost impossible to own our very own beauty. Just when we started to feel good about our (fat, flawed skin, and bad hair)-self, there’s always some beholders making fun, making comments of us.

‘Are you gaining some weight?’
‘What with those pimples?’
‘Now you’re going blonde? Wow’


Why can’t we just say, “Beauty lies beyond what eyes perceived.

‘Who’s Gonna be The Passenger?’

What’s a job to you?

I bet most of us, including me, a job provides. We all have our own ends to meet, surely not the same for everybody. From which we got (some of) our drives, what keeps us get up in the morning and hustle to our work place.

In the end of the day (well, month actually, except if you get paid daily/weekly), the reward keeps us going through our lives. Salary to pay the bills and everything in between.

The twist is whether we love our job or not. If you happen to love your job, congrats! You are the luckiest man. But if you happen to hate your job, feeling the pressure, misfit, or just can’t be yourself at work, my heart goes for you all. Fight or flight!

Love don’t always happen at first sight. But it might follow if we are open enough and willing to get ‘involved’ deep enough πŸ™‚

There’s always hope to fall in love….

with your job.


Anyway, lets take out whether you already love your job or yet. Just a job. A job that provides or you put a little bit more than that?

This year has become the year of transportation break through. And also the year I need any mean of transportation since I’m back working in the office, afterΒ  a while working from home. So its a match!

Starting from the Gojek boom, Uber controversy and everything in between. Its exciting to watch such break through, how a part of our daily life evolving from offline to online. And the cherry on top of that excitement was when I attended a media gathering hosted by Google which was also attended by many start-ups and not-so-start-ups companies such as ICT operators, vendors and providers. And on that gathering, Google’s number one in South East Asia mentioned Gojek as the most innovative apps of the year. Hands down!

But what for me an excitement, for others its more of an ‘opportunity’. Gojek campaign to recruit more drivers is spot on. Up to IDR 15 millions per month and everybody’s ready to leave their current job. Said that even a retail manager has resigned to be a Gojek driver. How about that?

Another intriguing statement also came across my social media. Nowadays college degree is no longer important since you can make the same amount of money as a bachelor without any degree, just be a Gojek driver. And I was like, whaat? :O

Excitement toned down into a frown. Carrier and degree has no worth anymore. Is it, really?

And few weeks ago, I got the punch line from my superior at work. His wife is a medical doctor and now is working at public hospital and looking for new opportunity. He told us that his wife was already undergo some interviews with private hospitals, not only for the job but also for her post graduate sponsorship. But when he calculated how much his wife would earn (which is more than what she earns now), he said its not worth it because its just a third than a Gojek driver/Grabcar driver earn. He’d prefer his wife not to work in a hospital anymore, either stay at home babysitting or set new carrier path cross field.

While I’m thinking about the oath the wife has taken, the calling/passion to care and cure the wife might have, my superior added a story how he encouraged his colleague, who’s being laid off, to be a Grabcar driver rather than seeking an engineer/supervisor position again regardless he’s a distinguished graduate from the most prominent tech college in Indonesia. It pays the same, he almost shouted in the crowded canteen.

And I’m leaving that canteen speechless..


I mean no disregard to those dedicated drivers in all of the world and applications. I proudly promote their service to my friends, family and colleague, not only how they facilitate the transportation needs in hectic Jakarta effectively, but also how they become the man of change. The future lies in the hand of the people who embrace change and break through comfort zone!

But everyone eyeing to be a driver? Disregarding carrier, degree, oath, skills, years of experience for the sake of an equal amount of money they’d make being a driver?

Okay, some of you might think I’m over thinking things. Here’s a ‘dummy’ question, if everyone wants to be a driver, who’s gonna be the passenger?

Who has The Power over Your Body?

Appartently my body is not mine alone. And maybe yours too.

We often hear how people address us (only) with our appearance. How thin, fat, white, black we are and every appearance aspects in between. Well, can’t blame anyone about that, eyes are the very first sense to create impression.

Easy on making a comment, but maybe is not easy to take in the opposite side. Sometimes a comment is felt as judgment or bully and the worst part is we can’t tell how our comments are perceived.

I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin (yes, I’m fat again now :P).
I’ve been under cared, I’ve been cared properly, now I’m trying to care again between diapers duty and baby meals.
So I’m pretty much fed with all those commentary.

In addition, after having a baby, the commentary vary even more.
‘Are you breastfeeding him?’
‘When are you going to give him a sister/brother?

Once as small talk, fine.
Twice as not-so-small talk, okay.. *flat face*
More than twice, okay, stop right there! You have no rights nor power over my body and my life.

Some would say, I’m over reacting. But could you tell which one of your ‘small’ comments would not hurt anyone’s feeling? Such ‘small’ comment can be considered as a bully.


Chariot of Senses


In Katha Upanishad, there’s a phrase depicted by a horseman controlling 5 horses. The horseman is the intellect and 5 horses are the 5 senses. All 5 senses would perceive every object in their path but we often forget all those horses are tied to the reins, our mind, and controlled by the charioteer, our intellect.

When we ride a chariot, do we want our horses to respond to every disruption on the path?

In that depiction, the chariot is the body.
Some of us have the body made of gold and some have the body made of wood. But its our body, in which we made possible to do almost everything in this world. Along the way, we might bump into another chariots with charioteers and their horses. They might let their horses make a comment about our chariot, but that doesn’t necessarily affecting our chariot, no?

The charioteer should take control.
Our intellect should take control of our senses through the reins, our mind, to have power over our chariot, our body. All those horses can say whatever they want, but surely do not have the power over your body. And in addition, minding the reaction towards all the object we perceived through our senses, so we can properly react with no feelings hurt.

Dirt is Dirt, But There’s Also Clean Water

Once in a meditation class, my Guru said,

“You can not clean dirty floor using dirty water. It has to be cleaned with clean water. “

Imagine dirty water in a glass. It seems impossible to have a clean water without throwing out the dirty water inside first. But throwing out the dirty water is not in the option. What to do?

Simply add clean water and more clean water until all the dirty water overflowed.

Cant tell why that phrase from my Guru stuck in my head for years, up until recently.


Been struggling with guilt and ‘dirt’ until I despise myself. That I’m unworthy even to breathe, let alone to live this wonderful life. But life goes on. And life showed my how to ‘cleanse’ myself, starting from my body to my deep down soul. In the journey, I get to meet great people, and experiencing how good life can be. Then life gave me the purest thing.

Kindness, love, joy bundled in one package called baby boy, Gian.

And then I realized. Its time to take all the clean pouring water from Life, redeeming all the dirt I’ve been stacking up and holding on all this time.

Yes, dirt is dirt. I cant deny nor forget it.
But there’s also clean water, baby.. no worry πŸ™‚

Gian Journal: Almost (Up To) 6 Months

Having a little baby is challenging?
Wait until your baby is getting bigger :))

I did not see that challenges coming, but I enjoy it anyway πŸ˜‰

So here we go,

Gian 105days celebration. In traditional outfit (kamen), ready to be celebrated as human fully.

3+ hensem

Wearing traditional head band (udeng) :-*

3+ 105

Gian first touch to the ground beneath :’)

3+ tuun

Aaand the fun part is balding the head, yeayy!
Such a good boy, no fuzz no cry, just curious faces πŸ˜›

3+ bald

Celebration continued to a steak house, slurp :9

3+ mom

3+ pop

At 4 months old, Gian is upgrading his sparing partner. A giraffe bigger than himself, LOL

4+ jerapah

And I think he’s bored already, with my kisses πŸ˜›

4+ kiss

Handsome but a cutie too :’>

4+ monkey

He’s a cute boss!

3+ bossy

And Gian’s 5 month-versary is celebrated by traveling to Jogja, yeay!
Look at his face, ready for some adventure πŸ˜€

Β  4+ cabin

This picture is some sort of a-must-taken picture.
First flight, first time on a runway with a plane background.
4+ runway

And here he is, the 5mo boy wandering in airports already :))



After a giraffe, now Gian picks a bolster to wrest with.

5+ gulat

Giraffe is K.O :))

5+ yelow

And all of the sudden, that little baby can SIT on his own (even though still only for few seconds ;P)

5+ duduk

We love you, kid.
Don’t grow too fast :-*

Cerita 2 Kelereng

Satu malam, kami begadang.
Saya dan kakak perempuan satu-satunya.

Dari kecil kami tidak pernah janjian untuk menjadi dekat atau melindungi satu sama lain. Yg ada malah lempar-lemparan kaos kaki, rebutan celana dalam (yap, jaman kami kecil, kami miskin se-celana dalam-nya), jarang bertegur sapa padahal sekamar, lucu!

Namun setelah sama-sama bertumbuh, sekali dua kali tempo, kami berdekatan.
Momen kakak yg memutuskan untuk menikah muda.
Traktiran makan siang kakak, yg memang berpenghasilan lebih dahulu.
Dan momen-momen lain yg terus bergulir, baik senang, susah maupun hampir celaka.

Begadang waktu itu adalah ketika saya hendak menikah dan sedang di Bali untuk melakukan pemotretan pra-nikah. Pertanyaan setiap gadis sebelum menikah mungkin hampir sama, ‘Bagaimana cara mengetahui bahwa pasangan kita adalah jodoh kita yg sebenarnya?’

Kata kakak malam itu, ‘Ya engga ada yg tahu. Ketika pilihan sudah dijatuhkan, ibarat 2 kelereng dijadikan satu dalam satu mangkuk. Semua karma ya akan menjadi satu.’

Demikian pesan mertua kakak, yg diteruskan kepada saya malam itu.
Tidak pernah terbayang apa maksud cerita 2 kelereng dalam mangkuk itu sampai saat ini.

Kelereng 1 bertindak, berkarma pasti akan mengenai, menumbuk kelereng 2 karena berada dalam satu mangkuk bernama pernikahan. Begitu pula sebaliknya. Dan akan semakin banyak tumbukan ketika jumlah kelereng bertambah. Siapkah untuk bertumbukkan? Itu pertanyaan yg seharusnya saya kontemplasikan malam itu.

Malam yg sama, dimana Pekak (kakek) mendatangi saya dalam mimpi dan bertanya, ‘Apa kamu yakin mau menikah dengan Komang?’


Gian Journal: The Milestone (up to 3m)

The usual expression, time flies.
But with babies, time seems like a shadow. Its like no time at all.
Its been 3 months already since Gian’s departure in this world.
And when I thought I got all figured out, Gian reaches new milestone and there goes the routine we build together *LOL*


1 Month +

Marked with a modest ceremony, to thank God and universe for guiding Gian’s departure.

And soon after, I noticed that Gian started to make many face expressions.

Its the fasted month I’ve had. Too fast. Gian grew too fast.

2 Month +

Celebrating Gian’s 2nd month-versary, we’re having a baby spa.
Watching Gian’s happy and relax expression while having a deep massage is precious.

And since Gian is already weigh more than 5 kg, he can have a baby swim session. Cute to the max!
No cry baby, Gian loves being in the water.

Grab and pull is the next milestone, Gian reached within the month.
The early sign was, he’d join his fingers, then he’d grab by the edges, e.g my shirt edge and finally the round handle.

And PULL! πŸ˜€

Gian also developing his sitting skill πŸ˜€
Hello, its us! Anak and Mamak nongkrong *LOL*

And just a few days before his 3rd month-versary. Gian managed to lay flat on his stomach and lift his head high.
Voila! Boat pose by baby Gian :3

3 Month +

Now laying on the back is so overrated for Gian.
Its time to lay on the stomach, yeayy! πŸ˜›

Its like no baby at all.
Its like a boy, now :’)

And Gian laughs like there’s no such thing as misery in this world :’)

There. Gian’s milestone up to 3 months old πŸ™‚
Lots of love from the 3 of us :-*