d’ Code

Yeah! Love this picture so much 😉
I love dogs, and I love this lil dog’s attitude.

But actually, I just want to share my thoughts about life code. My life code.
I haven’t found it until recently.

It’s just like that lil dog.

‘Never be afraid to say what you feel’

Or in my words,

‘Never lie to yourself, ever egain’

Took me 27 years something to figure this out. Imagine that!
And I have to throw everything, literally everything I’ve had, to finally figure it out.

For some of you, maybe it sounds strange to have a code like this. But for me, it’s not been easy to be able to fully understand the meaning of this code.

2 decades ago, there’s this popular and still remain popular till now, a quote, ‘Be Yourself’. Believe it or not, since the first time I read this quote, I always get myself confused. Who’s the ‘yourself’, the ‘myself’, the ‘self’ ?

Is she the shy, introvert, barely speak to anyone, semi-autistic-tomboy kinda girl that I was when I was 8 ? Or the one who get nervous easily, awkward, chesty girl that I was when I was 15 ? Or the one person that I am right now ? Which one is the ‘self’ that I shud be ? Seriously, I never get that quote in my head.

And then I collected some ideal in my head that I want to be. This and that, that and this. Many things. Some suit me well, some had me some disasters. In short, I was confused.

Until recently, in the top of my confusion, and in my all time low, I was just tired of everything. I gave up. I surrender. Just surrender to whatever, whoever that left in me. I ll take anything. All the bad, all the good (if there’s any), all the grey area, anything. And voila! There it was. The code. My code. Never lie to yourself.

If you see a bad girl that you are, then you are. Don’t lie and pretend to be a good girl. ‘I am a bitch, so what ?’, or something like that. Or if you see a good girl that you are, then you are. What’s left in me, that’s me. And I am not afraid anymore to see who I really am. And accept her, as she is.

Starting with ‘Never lie to yourself, ever again’ maybe I ll find my way to ‘Be Yourself’.

~ In dedication to the one who will ever be in my heart, and I am not afraid to have you ever in my heart

Picture is taken from here.